


Doll Face

by emma98



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Silly crack, Slight Voyeurism, background bucky/nat because that's how I roll, bucky is a gigantic troll, fluff and humor and did I mention crack?, inspired by the escape room video with the doll, steve runs into a sorcerer and gets turned into....something else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-21 15:59:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9556160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emma98/pseuds/emma98
Summary: Steve ends up on the wrong side of a sorcerer's spell as he and the Secret Avengers try to track down an Infinity Stone.  He gets a change in perspective.  Approximately four feet down in perspective.Darcy brings him back to the base, not knowing that the Captain America doll she cuddles at night is actually Steve Rogers.Shenanigans ensue.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This has been in the back of my brain since seeing that video where Chris Evans' voice comes out of that Captain America Doll. The one for charity (Donate to Christopher's Haven, it's a really good charity!). 
> 
> My brain went...well, what if Steve turned into a doll? And what if Darcy brought him home? Voila...here have some cracky fun.

**Doll Face**

* * *

 

 

Steve understood a lot about changes in perspective.  He had gone from a being a half ton of sass packed into a diminutive half pint body into a half ton of sass packed into the human body equivalent of a 300,000 horsepower eighteen-wheeler.  He knew what it was like to see things from a foot higher than before.  He knew what it was like to see things with muted, color blind vision and hear things with a deaf left ear, and then suddenly everything was technicolor and surround sound.   He had perhaps been the only living human to have undergone such a transformation before.  He knew what it was like as no one else could.

 

But this was _ridiculous_.

 

"You stay here, tiny Captain," the sorcerer smirked down at Steve, complacent in knowing he had nothing to fear of the former great hero.  

 

Steve wished he could fling the shield strapped to his back.  He had to get to Strange.  The man was recklessly advertising to the universe that an infinity stone was around his neck.  Darcy Lewis and Jane Foster had arrived at Steve's secret base with the very bad news that there was ANOTHER infinity stone being used on Earth, and it gave off a signal that was of interest to some very dangerous people, well not people, but beings.

 

They'd worked for two months now on tracking the signal and collaborating with Natasha, Clint and a newly thawed Bucky for surveillance on potential marks.  They'd narrowed it down to Stephen Strange and had made a move to contain him and get the stone away from him to be transported to safety in Asgard, but apparently Strange was having his own issues.  Steve and his team had come at the wrong time and seen things that were IMPOSSIBLE.

 

Clint, Natasha, Bucky and Wanda had disappeared right out of thin air.  Sam had been blown straight out of the air by a shield made of light.  Scott and Steve had been faced with something gigantic and horrendous, seven stories high and the most dangerous beast Steve had ever seen, even worse than anything the Chitauri had brought down on Earth.

 

Steve had put his hand to his comm and quietly asked that Darcy get in touch with Tony and request backup.  Darcy had scoffed at this and told him calmly that it was a squirrel.

 

The sorcerers had the ability to make illusions.  As if they weren't annoying enough already.  Scott was battling the rabid squirrel and Steve chased after the men responsible for it all.

 

"I expect that you want Strange to stop using the stone, that won't happen," the sorcerer stared down at Steve with some pride in his work.  "He will bring damnation and ruination upon everyone's heads."

 

"You CAN'T," Steve managed to clip out, hating the sound of his own voice at the moment.  It sounded tinny and mechanical, like he was listening to his own voice on the other end of a very cheap, outdated walkie talkie.  

 

"You might be surprised to see that I can.  Good luck, Captain," he made a wave of his hand and Steve found that he couldn't speak anymore.

 

He could only stand there, his perspective completely shifted again, so much smaller and more powerless than he had ever been before.  He didn't know how much time went by, he just knew he was unable to move his limbs and unable to say anything.  He watched as Darcy ran into the store, looking around wildly and walked up to the cashier, who had been frozen and motionless during Steve's confrontation with the Sorceror.  

 

"HEY!  Have you seen Captain America in here?  I mean, he's not dressed like he usually is, it's sort of a dark, dark blue tactical suit that really makes his ass look fantastic," Darcy rambled.  "And his shield is all different now, not circular---and hello?  Are you listening?  This is where he was last and now his signal is GONE, and where is STEVE?"

 

The cashier blinked at her, sluggish and empty and Steve felt terrible for the girl.  She hadn't wanted to be in the middle of something like that and was an innocent civilian.  But Steve also knew that innocent civilians were also the most surprising when facing the unthinkable.  The girl with the hot pink stripes in her hair very slowly and stiffly raised a pointed finger.

 

And pointed it directly at Steve.

 

Darcy spun around and wrinkled her brow at what the girl had pointed at.  

 

"Not quite what I was looking for," she sighed, walking towards Steve.

 

She wanted the real Steve.  She didn't want a two foot long plush doll of Steve dressed up in his old uniform with his old shield strapped to his back.  She wanted her friend.  Jane had gotten the signal from Clint, Natasha and Bucky, they were safe, but on the other side of the planet.  Sam was okay.  Scott had defeated the rogue squirrel.  Steve's comm signal had gone into this little shop and then disappeared completely.  

 

Darcy was panicked.  She reached for the doll and pulled him up into her arms, holding him in such a way that the doll's perfect chin was resting against her bosom.  Her lips were against the top of his helmet and she sighed.

 

"Where are you, Steve?  I didn't---I didn't get to talk to you."

 

The doll remained motionless and speechless, but Steve was still capable of thought, at least.  His mind raced as he wondered what she needed to talk to him about.  Natasha had been goading Darcy all morning on the quinjet about something that was apparently embarrassing and secretive.  Steve would know a thing or two about that.  He had been getting the same treatment from Bucky, who had been poking and prodding at Steve for weeks now about asking Darcy out on a date.   

 

Well, now she had him cuddled to her bosom.  And he would have probably been happier than anything at that prospect if he wasn't currently a children's toy.

 

"How much is he?" Darcy asked softly of the cashier.  She shrugged and said, "I know a guy who gets a kick out of the merchandise."

 

Sam.  It was Sam who got a kick out of it.  He'd laughed his head off when Darcy had come in one day dressed head to toe in Avenger's swag.  Steve or his old shield were on her earrings, her slippers, and a comic book version of him was on her t-shirt standing alongside Thor with the caption ‘ _Blondie Bros_ ’.  

 

"Free him," the comic shop girl whispered.

 

"Oh---thanks?" Darcy nodded, cuddling doll Steve even tighter and walking out of the store.  She took deep breaths, something Steve noticed from the way the pillowy bosom he was cuddled against rose and fell.  He felt her holding her comm unit to her ear, "Janie?  Please look for Steve's signal again, that was a dead end, no sign of him.  ---I know.  Thank you, Janie."

 

Steve attempted to get a closer look at her face.  She sounded sad and worried and nervous.  What he wouldn't give to be able to give her a reassuring embrace.  Instead, he remained motionless and still, trapped inside the toy.

 

* * *

 

"Kid!  Open the door right god damned now!"

 

Steve was relieved.  Darcy had come back to the base with the others, empty handed and with no leads on where Steve was at all.  She'd taken the doll to her bedroom and held the doll as tight as possible and to Steve's dismay, began to quietly cry.  He could FEEL the fabric on the top of his doll head get wet with her tears.  Silent tears turned into little gasping tears and little gasping tears quickly turned into full blown sobs.  

 

His little doll face was completely buried in her chest and she clung to him tightly.  Steve felt completely frustrated and heartbroken.  He wanted to comfort her, he couldn't bear to have her this upset and not comfort her at all.  Her sobs were broken up with hiccupping gasps for air and every time he heard the stuttered sound, Steve cursed the sorcerer vehemently.

 

If he could only speak to her, give her some idea of where he actually was.  But the pounding on the door was Bucky, and Steve was glad for it.  Bucky and Darcy had a special sort of relationship that developed in the last two months.  Natasha had claimed Darcy long ago as her sister, and Bucky had been more than happy to claim the same.  

 

The former Winter Soldier had a way of making Darcy laugh that would frankly make Steve jealous if he didn't know that Bucky already shared a bed with Natasha.  

 

And Steve had punched Bucky square in the jaw during sparring when his best friend had suggested that he was man enough to handle both Natasha and Darcy in bed if Steve didn't get his ass in gear in regards to his intentions towards the beautiful and clever young woman.

 

"Go away!" Darcy hiccuped again.

 

"I'll break it down!" Bucky warned her.  Five seconds before actually doing it.  He looked crazed as he fell through the door with his shoulder.  He was clearly worried, and it seemed to be the sort of worry that Bucky used to exhibit back in the 30's when he was fretting over his numerous lovely sisters.  He gave her a sympathetic look, his eyes darting to the doll she clutched to her.  "Kid, it'll be alright."

 

"It WON'T be alright!" Darcy insisted.  "This was my first op and Steve trusted me to make sure everyone was alright."

 

"And we are all alright," Bucky sat next to her on her bed, wrapping a metal arm around her shoulders and tugging gently so that she leaned into his mass, popping a tear stained cheek against his shoulder.  "How could you know that we were dealing with actual, real magic?"

 

"Magic is just scie---"

 

"Don't spew that Thor crap at me, kid," Bucky advised.  "Thor wasn't there, if he saw what we all saw and experienced, he'd know that this was ACTUAL magic this time and not science."

 

"Not everyone is okay," Darcy whispered, letting out another hiccuping gasp.  She pulled the Captain America doll away from her chest so that she could look at his cartoonish, adorable face.  "When you guys disappeared, we could get your comm unit signatures in New Zealand.  We can't find Steve's at all."

 

"So his comm unit got destroyed," Bucky offered.

 

"They're indestructible, we let the Barton kids blow them up and they still gave the signal," Darcy disputed.  "He's not on Earth, he got---transported somewhere else and now I've lost him forever."

 

"Kid, you haven't," Bucky shook his head insistently.  "You got Jane to send the message to Asgard right away, if he's not on Earth, they'll find him.  You did everything right, please stop crying.  I can't take it.  My only coping mechanism when someone I care about is crying is to murder somebody, and I'd like to remind you that I don't do that anymore."

 

Steve wished he had the ability to roll his stitched on toy eyes.

 

They remained quiet for a little, Darcy's hiccuping sobs downgrading to little sniffles again.  Steve knew that Darcy was beating herself up about the op that had gone awry, but he totally agreed with Bucky on this.  There was no way they could have known what they were going to be witness to with the sorcerers.  None of the SHIELD intel had said people were capable of what had happened.  She'd done a great job, it had been Steve's fault because instead of hanging back like Darcy had advised him to do, he'd gone chasing after that rat fink wizard and now he was a stupid doll.  

 

"You and Nat were right.  I should have told him," Darcy whispered and then sniffled again, before wiping her snot on Bucky's shoulder indelicately.  

 

 _TOLD HIM WHAT_?

 

Steve could only gaze up at what was in the doll's field of vision, seeing Darcy look mournful with her red rimmed, teary eyes and red nose.  Bucky had a sympathetic look on his face, but also one of victory, a dangerous look to be sure.

 

"I TOLD Sam," Bucky preened, and Steve could tell his best friend was figuring out how to poke fun at his other best friend.  

 

"Sarge, honestly, don't start this crap weiner measuring contest with Wilson," Darcy ordered seriously.

 

"Mine's way bigger, that's a no brainer," Bucky quipped, getting a huff of amusement from the distraught girl, which had been his aim.  "Kid, look, I know you're worried.  I know what it's like to worry about Steve Rogers and his foolish, reckless Irish ass--"

 

_You're such a jerk, Buck._

 

_Oh...hey...I can hear my thoughts...that's new.  That's progress._

 

"But here's the thing about that punk, he's a resilient little shit," Bucky said sagely.  "He will find a way back to us.  He'll find a way, Kid.  I promise you."

 

"I still should have been brave and told him," Darcy whispered.

 

_Told me what???_

 

"Yeah, you shoulda," Bucky agreed wholeheartedly.  "If you'd told him, you woulda been able to withhold sweet kisses and hand holding and then he'd a listened to you before running off on his own."

 

_What?  What?  Kisses?  What?  Am I getting kissed?  I’d like to be kissed, sweetheart._

 

"You know, I want more than just sweet kisses and hand holding from your best friend, right?" Darcy questioned, and there was a sort of playfulness back in her tone.  She wiped her snot on Bucky's shoulder one last time, looking a little bit hopeful and no longer endlessly tearful.

 

"If you're gonna talk about disgusting and baseless acts, I'd prefer if you'd talk about doing them with me and Red," Bucky waggled his eyebrows at her.

 

_Back off the lady, you pervert.  That's my girl you louse---or...maybe my girl?  My girl if she’ll have me._

 

"C'mon kid, let's get some food in you.  And a gallon of water to replace the fluids you just deposited on my shirt."

* * *

 

Steve was faced with a problem.  Aside from being turned into a doll, which was the primary problem.  The secondary problem was that he was in Darcy's bed and it was not in the way he had so desperately WANTED to be in Darcy's bed.  Sure, the night before, after Bucky had forced some food on her and a shot of something stiff and Russian and odorless in order to get her to sleep faster, Steve found himself cuddled very close to Darcy's bosom once again, with her lips pressed against the top of his doll helmet.  

 

He'd found sleep easy enough, and it had felt restful and wonderful being held by her.  When he'd woken up, his head was still half buried in her bosom, but she was now laying completely on top of him, squashing his doll body into the bed.  His ridiculously proportioned stuffed feet were between her thighs, pressed very intimately into her pajama clad crotch.

 

' _Christ almighty, what a way to wake up_ ,' Steve thought.  His arms were flat, caught between the bed and her body and he wished with all of his might that he could get the hands to move, to offer her some kind of reassuring touch, but he could only lie there, useless and enjoying  the feel of her on top of his stupid, useless doll body.

 

She smelled so good.  

 

Steve tried to remember if he had the sense of smell the night before.  Surely he would have noticed that lovely smell, a mix of fabric softener and ridiculously expensive perfume that Natasha had gifted the girl with many years ago.  Vanilla and some kind of sweetened fruit filled his senses and he focused on that, along with the crush of perfect breasts against his doll body.

 

"mmmmhhhhhm," Darcy made a moaning, humming noise as she hovered between the edge of asleep and awake.  

 

Steve knew he was taking liberties in seeing such things, ones that he hadn't earned yet, but he couldn't help himself. Literally, he was a stuffed doll at her mercy.  But he couldn't help but marvel at what he was seeing.  He'd do just about anything to earn the right of watching Darcy wake up on an ordinary day, wrapped up in his arms, instead of the other way around.

 

Darcy's thighs loosened a fraction and Steve felt the movement of her pelvis against his doll feet.

 

' _Oh god_ ,' he thought.  ' _Sweetheart, wake up, not that I wouldn't enjoy it but I'd feel like a louse if you knew I'd seen you like---oh.._."

 

Darcy's eyes were moving behind her eyelids, clearly having the most vivid dream as sunlight streamed through the curtains of her room.  Her lower half rocked against the doll again and she let out another moaning sound in her sleep.

 

"Steve," she gasped in her sleep.

 

' _Wait-what_?' Steve thought.  

 

"Yes, Steve, yes," she whispered, letting out another moan as she rocked her hips.  

 

' _Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph_ ,' Steve lamented.  The only thing he wanted more in life was to be able to REACT to her in that moment.  He wanted to kiss her awake, push her on her back and completely lavish every inch of her body with affection.  A handful of times at least.  

 

Bucky had to have been right.  She DID like him.  Steve had thought it impossible.  Someone so lively, so bright and young, with the opportunity to go and do anything she wanted in the entire universe couldn't possibly be taken with a one hundred year old soldier who kept falling into bigger and bigger fights.

 

But she did want him.  It was obvious what she was dreaming about.  And the dream was getting more and more intense, she seemed so close to a satisfying conclusion.  Steve tried to move, tried to do anything with all the intense concentration he possessed.

 

" **Huuuuhaah**!"

 

The noise came FROM Steve.  It sounded just like that tinny sound from the shop yesterday.  And it sounded a lot like a noise that would inadvertently come out of his mouth during battle.  And it was loud and jarring enough that Darcy jolted awake, looking around in confusion, before rolling on her back and pulling his doll body up to inspect.

 

"Did you just talk?" Darcy wondered.  

 

And then, to Steve's dismay, she began pressing his soft body all over.  

 

"Where's the button?" Darcy demanded quietly, pressing against his stomach, his hands and feet.  She smirked when she pinched at each of his ample doll buttcheeks before shrugging and moving her hand and cupping the smooth area at the doll's crotch.

 

"Oh, what a strange place to put the button," Darcy remarked, feeling the hardness on the crotch of the doll.

 

' _Fuck, fuck, fuck_ ,' Steve thought, but what came out of the doll sounded again, like a desperate fighting noise, like he was clenching his teeth and grunting.

 

"Naughty Steve," Darcy almost giggled as she tried to press the button again.

 

" **I'm Steve Rogers** ," the doll announced.

 

"Ha!  Yeah you are," Darcy did giggle at that, and Steve tried to ignore her poking and groping and squeezing and focused instead on how she sounded happy for the first time since he had disappeared.

 

But she kept groping at his crotch and while it didn't feel exactly like it would have had he been in his human form, it still felt awfully good.

 

" **Avengers Assemble**!" the doll yelled, followed immediately by the two fighting sounds.

 

"Oh, that's it?" Darcy pouted.  "As soon as real Steve gets back, I'm going to record him saying the stuff he always says and make you a realistic voice chip."

 

" **I'm Steve Rogers** ," the doll announced.

 

"Yeah, yeah," Darcy hugged the doll again.  "You normally say things like

 

 _Anything you need, Darcy.  Can I get you something, sweetheart?  And Bucky and Sam, stop fighting_!"

 

That was true.  Steve knew that.  He wished he could cuddle her back.  

 

"When I get you back, I'm going to tell you how I feel, I promise," Darcy whispered.  "Let's hope Nat and Bucky are right and you feel the same."

 

' _I do, sweetheart, I do_ ,' Steve thought.  

 

Darcy set him to the side and lazily made her bed, which essentially was shaking the comforter out and laying it on top of unmade sheets.  She then propped him up so that he was sitting between two pillows, watching the front door as she left him for the day.

 

It was Sunday, which likely meant a surprisingly elaborate brunch where everyone stayed in the common kitchen all day in their pajamas.  Steve imagined at this point that the brunch was combined with a continued search for HIM, but he was sitting in Darcy Lewis' bed, useless and still, surrounded by her smell and in some kind of dream like haze as long boring hours passed by.

 

He spent hours trying to move.  He spent another few hours trying to get different words out.  He had been working on that when some time after the sun had gone down, Darcy came rushing back into her room.  She'd gotten the door closed moments before whipping her shirt off of her body.

 

" **Holy Hell!** " the doll called out.

 

"WHAT?" Darcy blinked in astonishment at the doll.  "Language, Rogers.  I'm not gonna take you out to play with the kids tomorrow if you're a potty mouth."

 

" **Avengers Assemble?** " Steve offered her.  

 

Darcy stared at the doll in confusion before reaching behind her to pull off her bra.

 

The doll made a grunting noise that sounded different than the other grunts he had issued that morning.

 

" **I'm Steve Rogers** ," he announced.

 

"Yeah, sure, doll face," Darcy smirked. She shrugged it off and continued undressing, grabbing a towel on her way to the shower.   "Jane heard from Heimdall.  He said Steve Rogers was still on Midgard, but I don't think YOU are what he meant."

 

The shower was fast and then Steve let out another grunting doll noise when she came out still wet, the towel wrapped around her hair instead as she sprayed herself with stuff Steve couldn't comprehend.  Moisturizers, lotions, a spritz of the perfume he loved so much, all while still naked as the day she was born.  He tried to be a gentleman, he really did, focusing on looking at the bare, innocent parts of her.  The curve of her back.  The lovely softness of her thighs.  That pretty face he could spend hours looking at.

 

"I'm going to give you to Scott to fix, you can't play with the kids until your voice box isn't in your doll dick, and you can't be making sex noises like that in public," Darcy scolded.

 

"But private would be fine, sweetheart?"

 

Darcy dropped the bottle of perfume from her hands.  Then immediately tried to catch it, as it was priceless and she loved the scent.  She got it under control and managed to stare at the doll.

 

"Oh hell, I'm so sorry, Darce," Steve sighed.  "Please, put on a robe or something, cause I'm only human."

 

* * *

 

"You like that, Red?  Yeah, you like it, I can tell.  Whenever you want more of it, I'm right here for you, love, and I'll give it to you whenever, wherever, I promise," Bucky sighed.

 

"Stop being a pervert and keep doing the head massage," Natasha rolled her eyes.

 

"Can do, my love, can do," Bucky complyed, his metal hand gently running along the points of Natasha's skull that could benefit from some tension release.  

 

Heimdall had gotten back to Jane pretty quickly, letting them all know that Steve was alive and well and on Earth.  He just---couldn't be seen.  Which meant one of two things.  Steve was invisible.  Certainly a possibility.  If the sorcerers could make a squirrel into a rabid, giant beast apparition, Bucky had no doubt that they could make a person invisible.

 

OR, Steve had been changed into something else.  Hopefully not the rabid squirrel that Scott had bludgeoned during the battle.

 

But he was alive.  He was well.  And now they just had to find him.  Bucky was filled with hope.  It had always been particularly easy to find Steve Rogers.  All he had to do was follow the sounds of someone getting their ass kicked (Pre-serum it had been Steve getting the stuffing knocked out of him, post serum, it was usually Steve doing the knocking).

 

"I think I'm gonna go back to that shop that Steve's signal was last, take a look around," Bucky nodded.  "You stay here?"

 

"You've not gone out on missions alone yet," Natasha disputed.  And that was true, Bucky had been going out with either Steve or Natasha ever since waking up again in Wakanda.  

 

"Someone has to stay here and protect these people," Bucky shrugged.  "I can go out on my own, I promise.  And believe me Red, I won't let anyone take me again.  I'm not getting taken away from you again."

 

"Hmmm," Natasha hummed as a small smile spread across her lips.  She leaned back into the solid mass of Bucky's body behind her and went for a soft kiss that rapidly devolved into something more involved.

 

"HEY!" Darcy screamed as she threw the door to Bucky's quarters open, her hands over her eyes.  She was clearly peeking, not too invested in protecting their modesty and was disappointed to see both of the assassins fully clothed.  

 

"Doll," Bucky nodded.  He looked at the Captain America toy in Darcy's hand and shrugged.  "Other doll.  What can Mother Russia do for you?  Came for a cuddle?"

 

"Fuck off, Buck."

 

Darcy didn't know whose face was more shocked, Bucky or Natasha.  She held up the doll in her arms, the doll that had just told Bucky to FUCK OFF, and she made a little squeaking sound.

 

"I think my doll is ACTUALLY Steve!"  Darcy announced.  "And if so, he saw me naked.  And I slept with him."

 

"You did WHAT?" Natasha blinked at her, her face still unnatural in its shock.

 

"Not like that, perv!" Darcy scolded.

 

"A little like that," the doll answered. Darcy looked contrite and shrugged.

 

"Well, almost like that, I was cuddling him and when I woke up it was to a dream---look nevermind, this is Steve," Darcy shoved the doll in Bucky's face.  "How do we fix him?"

 

"uhm...." Bucky shrugged, taking the doll from Darcy's outstretched hands and staring it in the face.  "Abracadabra?"

 

"You're such a moron, you jerk," Steve huffed out.  "How you managed to stay alive a hundred years is the greatest fucking mystery in the world."

 

"Steve!  I already told you, if the kids hear a toy swearing, Laura Barton will crush your nuts," Darcy hissed.  "You might need those when you're not a stuffed TOY."

 

"Sorry, sweetheart," Steve nearly cooed at her.  "But Bucky's not gonna be helpful, he's gonn---HEY!"

 

Bucky spun away from both Darcy and Natasha, with the Steve doll under his arm and made a run for it.  

 

"Darcy!  Help!" Steve called out.  "Buck, you asshole, put me the fuck down!"

 

* * *

 

When Natasha had stopped laughing long enough to track Bucky down, it was too late.  Bucky had quietly raided the toy closet, taking all of Lila's doll clothes and accessories and setting up Steve's new room in the common room.  He had a crib.  He had a stroller.  And he had a little high chair that he was currently strapped in.  

 

While being dressed in the frilliest of pink dresses that was woefully too small for the nearly two foot long doll.  And Bucky was pretending to feed him from a toy bowl and spoon.

 

"Natalia, the baby is being naughty, he won't eat his carrots," Bucky laughed.

 

"You're a no good rotten piece of shit, Buck!" Steve accused.  "When I'm back to normal, I swear to all that is good and holy that I'm gonna beat your tired, brainwashed ass up and down this mountain."

 

"Hey!" Darcy scolded, stomping up to the little scene and staring down at the Steve doll, her lips quirking just once at the bow that Bucky had put around Steve's head.  "Don't speak to Bucky that way."

 

"Naughty baby, don't speak to your best pal that way," Bucky scolded.

 

"And you!" Darcy hissed out, turning and gripping Bucky's ear between what FELT like two vibranium fingers, but were in fact just normal Darcy fingers.  "I tell you that this doll contains the spirit or soul or whatever of your best friend, and instead of reacting like a normal human being and HELPING us, you decide to go and play with him like a six year old."

 

"Tell him, sweetheart," Steve encouraged.

 

"Sorry, kid, ow ow ow, sorry," Bucky whined.  "I was just having a gas.  It's been so long you know, since I got a chance to play."

 

He aimed big, sad, blue-ish gray eyes at Darcy, and she melted a little at it.

 

"Don't fall for it, Darce, he used to do the same to Sister Agnes in the sixth grade when he got caught pulling pigtails," Steve advised her.

 

"Shut up, baby, or you're gonna get a spanking," Bucky warned.

 

Darcy let go of Bucky's ear and pushed against him with all of her might.  In his laughter and glee at the prospect of Darcy even being close to being able to hurt him, Bucky fell on his rear end, his entire body shaking with hysterical laughter.  

 

"If you're done playing, I have a lead on the sorcerer who is responsible for this," Natasha said calmly as she walked into the room with her cellphone in hand.  "Fury comes through again."

 

She paused at the sight of Bucky rolling around on the floor in riotous giggles, Darcy fuming with her hands on her hips and the Captain America doll sitting ridiculously in a doll high chair with ill fitting doll clothes on.  Natasha only shrugged before holding up her phone and taking as many pictures as she could before Darcy picked Steve up and stomped out of the room.

 

* * *

 

"I'm real sorry, sweetheart."

 

"For what?" Darcy wondered as she sat in the ops van.  They were in San Francisco now, aiming to track down the person responsible for Steve's dollification.  Bucky and Natasha had taken Darcy and the doll off base immediately, and now the assassins were laying a trap for the sorcerer who had started all of it.

 

"Uhm," Steve hesitated.

 

"For not listening to me on the last op?" Darcy offered.

 

"Yes."

 

"For not making the first move on me months ago?  Letting me sit in my own misery while I thought you were still sweet on Sharon Carter?" Darcy wondered.  She had gotten bad second hand gossip, and it had been one of the many reasons why she hadn't confessed to Steve about her feelings earlier.  Another of those big reasons was because he was Steve Rogers, and Darcy felt for a while that he was so very far out of her league.  Natasha had done her best to turn Darcy around on that.

 

Steve Rogers would be lucky to have her.

 

"Yes, that too," Steve agreed readily.

 

"For seeing me naked before I got to see you naked?" Darcy added.

 

"I'll walk around nude whenever you want me to, sweetheart, I promise," Steve swore.

 

They were silent as Darcy watched the surveillance feeds and she spoke into her comm unit.  "Buckmeister Magee, your mark just appeared out of nowhere on the fire escape, he's heading your way."

 

"I hate that codename," Bucky sighed.  

 

"Too bad, pal," Steve chuckled.

 

"Tell Doll Face to hush," Bucky countered.  "Unless he's got something USEFUL to say."

 

They were quiet in the van again, Darcy watching the surveillance feed carefully, while typing rapidly on a keyboard, controlling the feed that played back to traffic satellites and closed circuit cameras around the apartment building.  

 

"Go to dinner with me?" Steve blurted.

 

"Now?" Darcy smirked a little as the sounds of Buffy scuffling with another person quietly fed through the feed.  There was a loud shout of pain on the other end as Natasha got on the scene as well, making sure the sorcerer couldn't just disappear like before.  

 

T'Challa had been helpful there.  It was surprising what vibranium cuffs could do.  It had a dampening effect on the type of magic these sorcerers could accomplish, and that worked in concert with the cuffs, keeping hands where they needed to be.

 

"When this is all sorted, and I'm back to normal, Darce," Steve said with a shy sort of softness that had Darcy stopping what she was doing and staring down at the doll she had placed next to her in the empty chair.  "Then I'd like to take you out proper, dinner...or the movies or whatever you like."

 

"I liked that idea of you strutting around naked," Darcy winked at the doll.

 

"Will YOU be naked?" Steve wondered.

 

"That's the dream, really, to be in a place and time when we can both be naked, and not toys," Darcy shrugged, her specific brand of sassy humor twinkling in her eyes.  She pounded on the keyboard suddenly, re routing 911 calls to one of Fury's people, who would take care of keeping their cover.

 

"You're a hell of a lady, Darcy Lewis," Steve sighed happily.

 

"Thanks, Doll face," Darcy giggled.  

 

"Ready," Nat interrupted over the comms.  

 

Darcy nodded, and stood, picking Steve up out of his chair and exiting the van.  She began running with him and somehow forgot that Steve WAS the doll in short order.  If she had remembered, she certainly wouldn't have started running with Steve's face cradled in the valley of her bosom, bouncing him up and down with every step.

 

"Guh," Steve groaned out.  "A fella could die happy..."

 

"Oh, sorry," Darcy paused and pulled the doll's head away from her boobs.  She grimaced down at him and said, "I forgot for a second."

 

"Sweetheart, it's a pleasure and a privilege, honestly," Steve promised.  "Softest place I've ever been."

 

"Sly dog," Bucky grumbled over the comms, then there was a sound of a scuffle and Darcy looked around in worry.  

 

"Coming to you," Nat advised.  "Hold your position."

 

Darcy did just that, holding the Captain America doll in her arms as if she were hugging him, his doll head resting on her more appropriate shoulder.

 

"Thanks for taking such good care of me, sweetheart," Steve whispered.

 

Darcy smiled at the doll, soft and sweet before shaking her head.  "It's been my pleasure."

 

She leaned her face forward just a little and placed a chaste little kiss against the doll's stitched on mouth.  Both Steve and Darcy missed the flash of light, but they felt the sudden switch in equilibrium.  Darcy felt strong arms wrapping around her, pulling her in close as the kiss deepened and changed from an innocent gesture into something with a lot more intent.

 

"Bad Doll face, gotta take the kid out to dinner first," Bucky announced.

 

Steve pulled one meaty paw away from Darcy and flipped Bucky right off before settling back on Darcy's back, keeping her in close and tight.  When they finally broke for air, Natasha and Bucky have moved on with the sorcerer, intent on bringing him to a transport to Fury so the rogue could be processed.  

 

"I'm kind of going to miss my snuggle buddy doll," Darcy whispered.

 

Steve smirked and shrugged.  "I'm sure I can find you a replacement."

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed this! Thanks for reading!
> 
> And here is an example of what the doll looks like...
> 
>  


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